Hello to all that hopefully read this. There are hundreds of thousand of custodial parents here in Michigan who like myself have had to encounter the Michigan Friend of the Court system. Like me, you may find that your non-custodial parent has chosen to be a dead-beat parent and that getting help or "enforcement" from the FOC is nearly impossible. I have exhausted every thing possible, from letter's to Judges and local offices, to the Attorney Generals office in Lansing. Followed up with phone calls that only lead to the same response or answers..."They have done all that they are willing to do, that given history, it is not cost effective for the office to pursue any further actions." I have read the FOC handbook and NO WHERE in that book or online at the State Government website does it state that the courts just "give up pursuing court ordered child support cases".
I am looking to gather information, voices, support and willing to go forth and demand in anyway possible that our local and state officials hear our stories and make the necessary changes to our system to actually set forth new regulations and requirements to do what the system was set up to do...ENFORCE CHILD SUPPORT UNDER EVERY ASPECT OF THE LAW. Please post your comments or stories, as I will continue with mine. Pass this site on to any parent you know facing this system. Together faces get louder and heard. This is important to our children who are the real "victims" of the misuse of the law in this system.
Thank you to all and hope to hear from you!
Please click on the link below: Petition for Change in Michigan FOC. Signatures on this petition are needed so that we can help get the word to Lansing that we need changes in the FOC system. It is also greatly appreciated if you "share" this link on Facebook, twitter, email, ect. Just click the share links below. Thank you!
https://www.facebook.com/MiFriendOfTheCourtChangeNeeded?ref=tn_tnmn
http://www.deadbeatwatch.com/deadbeat/mi.asp
Michigan Dead Beat Criminal Watch
FOC Underground Task Force
http://www.focreports.com
Petition for Change in Michigan FOC
A little insite into my story...I was divorced from my ex-husband Robert Abrams in Macomb County Michigan in March of 2005. Child support was established and began August 2004 during our divorce proceedings. At the time I left and filed for divorce my ex-husband was running a very successful industrial maintenance company. I was his office manager will July 2004. The records and books up to July 2004 had shown a net of +$250,000.00 for that year, we had a nice home and new vehicles. At the time the divorce was finalized in 2005. The home was sold, he claimed he could no longer work his business and dissolved the company, also claimed that he was bankrupt. He took a job as head of maintenance with a top client that year and child support was set and taken out of paychecks. This lasted till Feb. 2006 when the payments stopped. We waited out the 3 months and then went in for a show cause hearing in Roscommon County where the case was moved. At that time Robert produced evidence that we was living on full unemployment due to being laid-off for several months. No further enforcement was taken and he was told he should make an "attempt" at his payments. Thus began our long journey of no payments, getting further behind, show cause hearings and bench warrants, then the "bare minimum" occassional payments, that I was informed by Joanne Dow Enforcement Officer of Roscommon Co., FOC "that I should be grateful for any amount". To date, this case has been moved from Macomb Co., to Roscommon Co., and now in Calhoun County where I currently reside. Robert has had 3 bench warrants, spent 6 months in jail with 3 years probation for Felony Non-Payment of Child Support, and release from 45 days on Contempt of Court on July 9, 2011. During the entire time has only had 2 2 day visitations with the boys at his residence since 2004 and has very little contact with his children. Facebook and phone messages that have been in the past all state his reasons for not seeing them is "busy working"??? This is not proof enough for the courts though. As of today's date his arrearages are $39,791.57 owed to Child Support. Last payment on this case was January 4, 2011 of $295.00. This morning's last call to Pat O'Brien's office at the State Attorney Generals office was taken by "Laura" no further name given. I was laughed at and told that no further help or consideration will be given to this case. I informed her I was going public and she again quoted "do what you feel necessary, many have tried and no one cares". Let's show them there are many that care! Please tell your story and lets help make it tougher on these dead-beat parents and give better enforcement options to the FOC.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your case. perhaps you are now recognizing that the green grass of the divorce is not so green? you probably should have work it out or come to an agreement outside of the court. the laws as they are remove most incentive for a man to keep working. 1/2 of his take home pay it to much. then to break even the man has to work 60 hrs then to get ahead he gets a second job. either way he gets labeled a deadbeat. he pays his support but spend no time because he has to work so much. or he quits and pay nothing, but has time but cant come around because the law will put him away. its a loose loose position. now lets address the consequences of no having a father present in the home. increased suicide, failure to thrive, prison, mental illness just google the studies on fatherless children. also 80+ percent of those in jail and welfare line come come fatherless homes. SO GOOD JOB I HOPE THE CHECK WAS WORTH IT. I am just telling you the truth, I will field any question you might have at redonkulas.com
DeleteSince you do not know full circumstances on our divorce, you do not have a right to judge. He was a loser while I was married and proved to be a bigger one after. And what check are you referring too? The point is...there is NO payment. I have to work 2-3 jobs, have no life, just to support my kids, who are no teens that have to work and help with bills so we all can make it. Too bad that deadbeats don't have to worry about feeding, clothing, paying for normal school and growing life activities, or just anything a kid needs. It took 2 to make the child, should not be the sole responsibility of the parent that is 24/7 care giver. People that abandon their children and hide from the law or obligations set forth by the law are the lowest of scum on this earth. There are some father's that are not good...mine was one of them. I'm in hopes that I got my children out before they end up just like him as adults.
Deleteyou are just as guilty. for every finger you point 3 point back at you
DeleteI am a mother. and I do not agree with the kick a man when he is down mind set. friend of the court states in big bold letters. in the best interest of the children............... now, here is a little news flash. there should always be joint custody period. that's the law that needs to change. the system is horrific to the absent parent. the court does not care how the absent parent pays there bills, eats, or affords anything. they don't even care if there is another adult in the home that pays for things either. you both are parents. both should pay 50/50 sharing the responsibility of the kids. I raised 4 kids. only one father payed his child support. I went to court with him to lower it so he could feed my child, and be able to survive. the judge sat there and had no concern for him. well,i did. that is my daughters father. hurt him I hurt her. teach her to betray him, she will allow others or even betray them when she becomes an adult. if you want to make a change. make the right change. and what your asking is not the right change .
DeleteYour awesome!!!! The children are only people that suffer in these situations.
DeleteMy sons are now 13 and the oldest will be 16 next month. This whole situation has been a sore subject with all of us for years. My ex-husband has had since 2004 only 2 weekend visitations early on with them, and 2 visits to my home, the last on Christmas Eve 2008 which resulted in his arrest and prosecution of Malicious Distruction of Property and larceny (the boys where there the entire time he destroyed my home and called me several names that you can only imagine). Very little communication in anyway. My youngest son will no longer even acknowledge his biological father, gone so far as he refer's to him as dead. No that doesn't sound good, but the therapist has rationalized it as his way of not having to feel the pain his dad causes. The other is the opposite, and that is the scary part of all of this. He contacts is father through FB (they have stopped that communication cause it is traceable) and texting. My eldest now views his father as an outlaw hero. "I left his father, why should his father give me a dime?" That is a big problem, I'm affraid history will repeat itself. Now that FOC has done this and he has seen all the courts stuff, my son laughs and says "see the law doesn't even care!" This is not what I want him to see, he should see that his father is breaking the law, hurting his children, and should be held accountable. I am starting to get feed back from other sites and news people, please make your selves heard. There is strength in numbers! Thank you
ReplyDeletewell you have done a bang up job. you are just a guilty as he in this mannor. You thought divorce was going o be great. He would be gone and you would get a check? Now down the road he is really gone and you will see first hand what happens to children with out a father. Google it please. The odds and stats are stacked against you. Men build walls, the courts treat men as expendable, this reenforces it and that causes anger. I hope it all works out but It probably wont. at best they will live in your basement, at worst they will see some prison time and perhaps worse. I hope not, but I only speak the truth. Good luck with the greener grass. redonkulas.com Are you pissed! GOOD
DeleteTerrence Popp is the poster child for bitter deadbeat dads. Just a thought. I stumbled across this page NOT needing assistance, and realized he is a biased ass blasting uneducated comments. Wow some woman did a number on you, or maybe you was a prick beforehand with no substantial credibility. Carry on with your worthless, uneducated thoughts sir!
DeleteToday this site was posted in the Battle Creek Enquirer...will be sending out to more news papers through out Michigan. Also found out the ex-husband has fled the State of Michigan. Most likely heading to his mothers home in Florida knowing that Michigan will not extradite for Child Support...wrong, needs to change so that deadbeats like him can not hide. There needs to be a nationwide system so that there is no chance of court ordered support from any state be ignored. Let's get the word out!
ReplyDeleteI do not blame him for running. with 50% of his take home pay getting taken after tax what life can he live? most me who pay child support cant even purchase property because there income all is taken. You divorce, get to keep all your money, get remarried and the man cant do that. They go after the new wifes cash also. some just choose to bail on the whole system. Its wage slavery. there should be a 50/50 physical custody option from the word go and I bet this would sop happening. You will never get your money, the kids lost there father and you have to work that much harder. good job. I hope you are happier now. redonkulas.com
DeleteTerrence Popp is the poster child for bitter deadbeat dads. Just a thought. I stumbled across this page NOT needing assistance, and realized he is a biased ass blasting uneducated comments. Wow some woman did a number on you, or maybe you was a prick beforehand with no substantial credibility. Carry on with your worthless, uneducated thoughts sir!
Deletewhat life can he LIVE? how about a mom who is fulltime mom working multiple jobs, no social life no nothing!!! when you had sex it took two not just the woman or just the man , just because some are sociapaths and feel its ok to run out on their families. and they say if you dont want the kid give it to a foster care!!!! oh thats what I heard. after a prick lived off me 13 yrs. and abused me and his daughter. thats bullshit and even though he says he cant get a job and is sucking the life out of everyone he knows to live off. including sucking on a joint. doesnt mean me and my daughter should suffer. even for a measly couple 100.00 a month. but its something and REMEMEmber we are not the VICTIMS the kids are and its sad. :( and to the lady with always joint custody theory. Lady I am sorry but could your daughter go with her pedophile sociapath father who hangs with drug dealers theives. ect... ?????
DeleteNo the ex is not moving, but thanks to his own Facebook and info I needed from his angry family, I have the evidence that he is again working under the table as usual, moving vehicles between states. That was what he was doing when before he was arrested, he openly admitted too in court, and FOC and the Circuit Court Judge did not demand proof of income or ask what dealership he was doing this for. Another of the proof of injustice. He can get away with Underground Income due to the fact that no one in the court system will question this. Lets really look at this. Thousands of parents get away with claiming month after month till it becomes years that they can not find work. Give it 6 months on a court ordered case and make it then manditory that the offending parent attend manditory classes (such as they do with welfare mothers), or even better...the state has plenty of jobs out there and make it manditory they show up for minimum wage jobs set by the state. Bet that would bring out some sudden employment. Many have responded to the newspaper and facebook as me being an angry greedy mother. Angry yes, the problems this whole situation has caused has spilled over to his children, the stress I have been under for years is beyond words. His actions, not just the lack of support, but the total allienation of his children and his actions the few times being around them have left both boys very angry, confused, and in the worst way, a form of torture or "child abuse" on his part. That really is what a deadbeat parent is, a child abuser and child neglect, both are illegal. Please post a comment on here either way, give your stories.
ReplyDeleteKarma will always get you in the end. just think how reductive he was prior to the divorce, now you want him to be a slave to you. wow that green grass must look good now.
DeleteTerrence Popp is the poster child for bitter deadbeat dads. Just a thought. I stumbled across this page NOT needing assistance, and realized he is a biased ass blasting uneducated comments. Wow some woman did a number on you, or maybe you was a prick beforehand with no substantial credibility. Carry on with your worthless, uneducated thoughts sir!
DeleteI run www.redonkulas.com
DeleteChange is needed in the Washtenaw County FOC.
ReplyDeleteI had an agreement that the x and myself had reached. The FOC attached the Universal Child Support Guidelines unbeknown to my x and me. This caused a problem which cause a decrease in child support. Now almost a year later our case is still in the Court system. The Judge ordered a $301. child support order for two children based on a Referree agreeing with a self-employed handyman providing a $14K tax return.
Now - many Subpoena's later, I can prove an additional bank account. The x-uses a bank account that he reveals for the purpose of covering IRS and Child Support accountings.
Self-employment should be given special attention.
the numbers work both ways, to bad
DeleteTerrence Popp is the poster child for bitter deadbeat dads. Just a thought. I stumbled across this page NOT needing assistance, and realized he is a biased ass blasting uneducated comments. Wow some woman did a number on you, or maybe you was a prick beforehand with no substantial credibility. Carry on with your worthless, uneducated thoughts sir!
Deletei run redonkulas.com
DeleteCourt order was initiated in December of 2004 for two children in Monroe County. Initial support was set at $600 a month w him paying 50% of uncovered medical. I was granted sole custody and him reasonable and liberal visitation only. He has an extensive drug history. Prior to 2005 he owned his own construction business and was making $28/hr full time work. In the following years he has managed to manipulate courts into cutting his c.s. down to 379/mo and 100% responsibility of uncovered medical. (The children were on medicaid at the time so what did he care) he has rarely seen the kids and NEVER bought a christmas or birthday present for them. In fact every December he vanishes without a trace. Even with the severe reduction in monthly support obligation he still wont pay. He is currently $21,890.00 in arrears. he closed his business, forfieted on our previous home, quit filing income tax in 2004, and wont take a job for anything other than cash. Over the years his attitude and behavior is deplorable. He refuses medication to our disabled son, telling him I am keeping him a cripple just to collect the SSI pymts. He has called me horrible names right in front of the children, threatened me and harrassed me on a continuous basis. I currently have a PPO against him due to this. Show cause and bench warrants are a joke. He has been picked up on no less than 3 bench warrants, never spent time in jail and never paid any bond (back support) to be released. Past 6 months he has had monthly show cause w threat of jail time, so he paid for each month on date of court appearance. Last Nov 29 the courts released the show cause and wiped off the last bench warrant on grounds he continues to pay as scheduled. Not one penny towards arrears or hundreds of dollars in medical expenses during that time frame was ever enforced. FOC told him he had to supply proof of "sub contracting" income, whether it be a copy of check or a post-it with payment received and date. Didnt request any documentation from employer at all. So I guess he can just make up a # and say thats it for his months income. He can afford an attorney though, go figure.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your case. perhaps you are now recognizing that the green grass of the divorce is not so green? you probably should have work it out or come to an agreement outside of the court. the laws as they are remove most incentive for a man to keep working. 1/2 of his take home pay it to much. then to break even the man has to work 60 hrs then to get ahead he gets a second job. either way he gets labeled a deadbeat. he pays his support but spend no time because he has to work so much. or he quits and pay nothing, but has time but cant come around because the law will put him away. its a loose loose position. now lets address the consequences of no having a father present in the home. increased suicide, failure to thrive, prison, mental illness just google the studies on fatherless children. also 80+ percent of those in jail and welfare line come come fatherless homes. SO GOOD JOB I HOPE THE CHECK WAS WORTH IT. I am just telling you the truth, I will field any question you might have at redonkulas.com
DeleteTerrence Popp is the poster child for bitter deadbeat dads. Just a thought. I stumbled across this page NOT needing assistance, and realized he is a biased ass blasting uneducated comments. Wow some woman did a number on you, or maybe you was a prick beforehand with no substantial credibility. Carry on with your worthless, uneducated thoughts sir!
Delete(CONT>)Its now Dec 20 and guess what? He hasnt paid anything for this month, why would he? He just filed several motions with FOC. One is a financial review, he feels his c/s is set too high. How is he gonna complete his end of financial if he hasnt filed taxes and cannot provide a shred of income verification? My monthly income is 1900.00 due to my disability and sons SSI. I do not receive any form of state assistance. The children are covered under my husbands medical at the premium cost of 200/mo. This is no way coveres my sons DME and Rx copays and deductables. The 379/mo in c/s doesnt even cover it all and Im not even getting that. So now all medical reimbursement claims I submitted to FOC since October have been kicked back to me based on the financial review he filed. Nothing is being added to his arrears on medical at this point. But the bills keep racking up regardless. Next he filed for joint custody. And he filed for set visitation schedule that requires me to drive kids to and from. Mind you he lives 1 1/2 hr away. Since he has filed all these complaints he has suddenly starting sending the children thanksgiving cards, halloween cards, money cards for birthdays in attempt to make himself appear to be a loving father. Last July he sent the police to my house to do a well child check because he felt I had maimed or injured the children. REALLY??? They do not want to talk to him and are fed up with the drama and accusations. My son is 16 and in therapy over all this crap. The same judge who signed the PPO is presiding over our c/s case and cant seem to correlate the two. C'mon its not rocket science here. When people hear the roller-coaster story they cannot believe this has gone on as long as it has. I know I will never collect the arrears, its a lost cause, but why is he permitted to drag the children thru this nightmare? Its no less than child abuse. the things he has done to the children are sickening and FOC says "just dont send the kids then, you dont have to" well that really panned out didnt it? Nowe I am slammed with multiple complaints by him and his attorney. He has never asked the kids how they are doing--always pumps them for information on how much $ my husband makes, what we own, where we go, who visits, etc. My son has been hospitalized at least 7 times in past 4 years and not once did his father come to the hospital. Our youngest has had 4 surgeries on her airway and once again he never came to see her either. Thats real parental concern there. Its BLATANTLY DISGUSTING THAT THE COURTS WILL DO NOTHING!!!!! As of Nov 29 the FOC says I should just be glad hes paid for 6 consecutive months and they arent gonna enforce the medical support because hes making an effort. Why do I have to provide private financial information when he does not? He floats through life without a care in the world while I worry myself sick about the health and well being of the children.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments on this site. It is stories like this (we need several more and we know that are out there!), that will make Lansing finally wake up and take action with the FOC system. It is severely flawed system and works well only for the "self-employed" payee. For the recipients, it is not beneficial. The children are the ones suffering financially and emotionally. It is a form of child abuse and should be noticed by the court system.
ReplyDeletePlease post the link and a quick comment to your facebook, twitter, MySpace, or any other site out there so that we can keep this going and getting more testimonials out there and make our representatives listen to us. Thank you
My exhusband Robert Abrams lives in the Detroit area and since 2007 has worked "under the table" for a company called Airport Bus & Limo in Roseville, MI. He is a driver, even with 2 DUI convictions since 2005. The address on file with FOC is a home owned by the owner of this company. He has no proof of income, no "proof of living (bills)" to show, and has not filed income taxes since 2003. I have several pages of Facebook, text messages to me children, and IM messages where he states how much he is working (according to those, all the time). But it is "hear say" and not even looked at by the FOC or any other authority.
ReplyDeleteI have contacted IRS, state and local authorities several times with information and nothing is ever done. Getting this kind of information out can help stop this type of obvious disregard for the law and legal obligations.
I have heard for years from FOC to hire a private investigator...on what? Can not afford that or an attorney. We all need to ban together. It is not against the law to publicly post FACTUAL information and if you do the same about your situation, chances are someone will see their name, company name, whatever and be able to help in some way. There is power in numbers and strength in the ever growing online connections!
I know exactly what you are going through. I have also reported Lance to the IRS and to the Jackson County Dept of Human Services for falsely obtaining state aid. He was receiving fs based on being unemployed. How does a 51 yo man with no children or wife in his home receive FS?? I questioned DHS in Jackson as to whether he had claimed one of the children was residing with him and they would not give me an answer. Since I do not receive any form of aid there would be no cross reference of ss numbers by county. I have also been advised to seek the assistance of a private investigator. Seriously I doubt I will ever be able to afford that luxury. And even if I did anything I obtained would not make a bit of difference. The Monroe FOC has let Lance slide on so many contempts of court its almost funny. My family and friends refer to him as the Teflon Man cuz nothing sticks to him. If I fail to attend ANY hearing or court mtg I know Im screwed. Last show cause hearing on Nov 29th I could not attend because my house was flooding due to excessive rain and we are right next to river. Big mistake there. I guess I was sandbagging my yard while I got sandbagged in court.
ReplyDeleteI also have multiple emails, FB mesages, IM and vm messages from lance screaming and yelling with threats. He states specifically how much money he earns and that he is paid with prepaid visa cards instead of pay check. I gave all this to FOC to no avail. Although same Judge gave me a PPO based on those same pieces of evidence. Why is it "applicable" in one legal arena but "heresay" in another?! Lance had nerve to say he was btw a rock and hard place to the mediator. Really? Maybe he should think of the pit he left his children in before he whines like a baby.
ReplyDeleteThe Holiday's have come and gone and life has gone on with no change. It is January 12th, 2012 and it is one of the most stressful day's I've encountered. I have a Final Shut-off notice that expires today from Consumers Energy, a shut-off notice from Semco Energy for heat, repossession notices from Santander USA for my vehicle, a huge storm coming in that will bring ice and snow today, and I have to travel into my job (which I am a server and with this economy, losing hours and not making ends meat). I am worried about the commute tonight due to the fact that I have no insurance, had to let it go because the cost is so unaffordable. The reason...my credit, I can not afford either home or car insurance. I do get the minimum of help from DHS, but have not heard from them about my application for State Emergency Relief.
ReplyDeleteThe financial stress is horrible and it is mine to bare alone. It is the reaction from my teenage boys that hurt even more. Joshua the 13 year old needs glasses, and every week I try to set aside the minimum it would take to get him an exam and a pair of glasses. There just is never enough. This morning I asked him where his shoes I bought him last month were? He is wearing his older brother's shoes that are generously given to us by a friends husband that is more fortunate then us and is able to give away nice "popular brand" shoes that are like new. The shoes are a size 12 and Josh is only a size 8, they are huge and look like clown shoes, but he finally admitted that he threw away the wal-mart shoes and would rather wear these so he doesn't get teased even more then usual for being a "welfare kid". That really hurt deep, it took a lot to be able to buy those "walmart shoes". I let bills fall behind and can not catch up for things like that and even Christmas. What little I was able to scrap or sell to get them some kind of Christmas was all they got and I knew it, but they are only kids once and they don't need the pain of reality yet, it will come to them soon enough.
As of today the total amount of Child Support owed is $42,153.06, the last "attempt payment" was October 5, 2011. We have a court date on January 31 not with FOC, but with Circuit Court regarding Child Support. My oldest son Robert who is 16 is willing and it was actually his idea to go and testify against his father. He had plenty of proof that his father is working and has been. He also has proof that the address his father uses in not his residence. That address belongs to his father's employer and is a trailer behind the office in which he works out of. That address is also listed as being the residence of 5 other known occupants, and would be willing to bet they are also in the FOC system and behind in support.
The court may not approve or accept his testimony, but what else can I do. This has gotten so out of hand even his children just the other day stated, "why bother anymore mom? The courts will never do anything and my dad doesn't care? Your never going to get a dime out of him and even jail doesn't matter, he has resorces better then you." In away I agree, the stress of all that is happening is killing me, it has robbed my children of a real life and even their childhood. The only one's paying the price for all this are the 3 of us in this residence. We are the victom's of this crime and that truly is what it is, a crime. But there is no legal or "Enforcement" efforts that work in this legal system. I know for a fact I/we are not alone in this. Please help and keep posting on any social network's, ask to keep it moving and get other's involved. History has proven that there can be strength in numbers.
you should have given him joint physical custody but you wanted the check instead? feminism is treating you well isent it? your a victim? in the end you in my opinion did it to yourself? you have equal guilt, just my opinion?
DeleteJoint pysical custody? He wouldn't even take them for a weekend! You are a real asshole, no wonder someone divorced you! And yes, according to the law...I am a victim, and he is heading to prison. The children and I have made it and continue to...so I am fine, WITHOUT a check of any kind. And as far as divorce...it was the best decision I ever made.
DeleteTerrence Popp is the poster child for bitter deadbeat dads. Just a thought. I stumbled across this page NOT needing assistance, and realized he is a biased ass blasting uneducated comments. Wow some woman did a number on you, or maybe you was a prick beforehand with no substantial credibility. Carry on with your worthless, uneducated thoughts sir!
Deletehttp://www.change.org/petitions/michigan-friend-of-the-court-lacks-enforcement
ReplyDeletePlease copy and paste the above website and sign the petition I have starting in Change.org. It would be helpful to copy and sent also to any friends on your email list, facebook, twitter, MySpace, ect. Thanks to all who have helped and have taken the time to respond. We will be heard!
Tomorrow, January 31, 2012 at 8:30 a.m. we are due in court. I'm taking my oldest son, Robert (16) as a material witness that has direct proof of his father's employment and statements of how much he works. The court official I spoke with today said I should not do that, well he's old enough, has been through enough, and should be able to be heard...he after all is the direct "victim" in this case. It will be hard, but he is ready. The courts ask for proof, but don't want to see or hear it. They refuse to follow up with the information I supply. Isn't that their job? Time for serious change and time that all victim's be allowed to be heard!
ReplyDeleteThank you to all, this site and the petition site for Change in Michigan FOC is growing. Your help is a direct result...we can not stop now, we have a voice and we need to be heard loudly in Lansing, that we are fed up with the lack of Enforcement and the way we are treated in this system. Our kids are the one's truly suffering and we as parents need change.
http://courts.michigan.gov/scao/courtforms/domesticrelations/focgeneral/foc1a.pdf
ReplyDeleteAbove link is an online copy you can print off for the first step to take when filing a grievence with (Michigan) county FOC office. That is the first step you must take whe making and offical complaint and below is the link for instrustions and information about the grievance procedure must be taken to formally make any complaints or voice concerns with the FOC. This is the way to go to get anything started with your complaint/concerns. The instructions also explain what steps to take if the first grievance directly filed with local FOC does not get you anywhere!! good luck!!
http://www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(svsgybvvrxulj1afukmgor45))/mileg.aspx?page=GetObject&objectname=mcl-552-526
ReplyDeleteInstructions and Information on beginning process for a formal grievance with the FOC.
Make sure you put them in your public file at the court! Send copies to your county commissioners, state legislators, and any/every other decision maker! Send copies to your local newspaper with a “letter to the editor” explaining what happened… You get the point, I’m sure.
ReplyDeleteThe ex was given jail time today. I took my son and it may have made and impact. We went back in the enforcement office first and right away, the first words where "I'm not working". I immediately interupted and stated that my 16 year old son was in the lobby and ready to show absolute proof and testify to the fact that his father is and has been working at Airport Bus & Limo in Chesterfield Twp., MI. That made the ex immediately retract and state "well I'm working odd jobs when I can, but not making enough to live on. Can't pay any bills at all". I showed the court transcript from Oct 23, 2007 where he stated that we will look for employment as soon as his sentence is over...and reminded the court referree that it has been over 6 years and the pattern is exactly the same. What's worse is even being told the outcome will be the same, he asked for a court appointed attorney and paid the fee of $50.00...that money could have gone towards some of his support! The referree made it clear that he was upset at my bringing my son in, I made it even clearer that I did not care about his opinion and that my son is fully aware of his father's and my situation and that he was the victim in this case and should be heard!
ReplyDeleteIt's been a week since the actual court date and although the financial stress is not eased, the emotional stress in my home has had a significant change. We walked out of that court house and for the first time in years, the "chip on my son's shoulder" seemed lifted, almost as if all the years of anger and resentment and wanting to believe his father wasn't at fault for the position his father was in. The reality of hearing almost the exact same stories and excuses out of each of the defendants that went before his father and to hear the same reaction from an Official Court Judge..."the reality of this situation is, you are court ordered to pay. It is not the courts problem how you pay or your personal bills, it is the courts responsibility to uphold this order and the law states you are in contempt. Jail time is warranted." He realized that it is his father's own fault for the situation and that there was a lot of other's in this situation.
ReplyDeleteHe felt a relief in knowing that his dad heard his words and for the next 60 days maybe his father will reflect on the fact that his son truly feels he is the "loser" HE and HE alone, has become. I don't care what the opinion of the courts states regarding the children not being involved. The reality is, they are the ones the court needs to see and hear, the reality of the defendants crime in not paying support and most often followed by lack of emotional and physical support also, is hurting these kids. They need their voices to be heard too. I can tell you, my son and my relationship in the last week has greatly increased. All the years of counseling and therapy we have gone through did not have the impact that those few hours in the FOC and Circuit Court house gave us. The reality of why we where there has made a lasting impression on my son, hopefully he will not be a "continued pattern" of his dead-beat father, as if there is hope of the cycle being broken.
The following is a conversation that was help publicly on Facebook on Feb. 10,2012. I Leslie from a childhood friend and I also know the father in her situation. He has acquired a successful family business in Houghton Lake from his father, it has been in business for many years. This situtation is one of the most common in dead-beat parents:
ReplyDeleteLeslie Kozumplik
Yea Jim was spose to go t court yesterday because i had a show cause sent to him, since he aint paid since Nov....so instead he pays $100 to the foc office & they let it go......he told chris on phone that he hopes im happy! lmao Happy?Umm nooooo, wth he think $100 will do? Pfft....they all claim im ungrateful, which im not ungrateful, just pissed he thinks thats ok! : | Whatta bout the thousnds??? (rollin eyes) Makes me sick......it'd be nice to fill a grocery cart one day! Chris said, "wont u feel bad if dad goes to jail?" and i said "NOPE!!!!" i will keep it up too if he wants to hide shit under the table, i will keep callin & gettin show causes sent, even tho he got away.....AGAIN!!!
10 hours ago · Like
Jennifer Abrams That's the kind of stories that we need on that blog site. And a lot of what we are trying to push to show Lansing that they system is not working. Please try to go to a computer and sign the petition and leave your story. It really would make a difference. Thanks, Leslie Kozumplik
6 hours ago · Like
Leslie Kozumplik I would but havent gotton to a computer in like a yr & Chris's laptop needs repaired, it has the black screen of death on it (blank) right now, & it was new just b4 CHRISTmas : ( Anyways, you can copy & paste that above if ya want & can, specially if it can help!
2 hours ago · Like
Jennifer Abrams Thank you Les, I will
2 hours ago · Like
Leslie Kozumplik Very welcome!!!!!
2 hours ago · Like
Jennifer Abrams
And that is a good point with Jim and sooo many other's. They have a significant other that they live with (in some cases married too). They are other person in their lives are allowing them to get away with this...don't they call that "accomplice"? Anyway, the courts and anyone now a days can use a computer, look up the person's address, and see what other adult resides there, possible shared accounts, ect...So once that is found, married or not, force just like DHS does all their financial information. (Chances are the dead-beat in question is helping support another family) I'm sure that would bring a lot more out of hiding, not to mention cause the single population to increase with more "losers"!
about an hour ago · Like · 1
Leslie Kozumplik No doubt he hides stuff with his g/f!!! Also because he owns his own buisness he hides what he truely makes.....Even tho ive never in 16 yrs had it raised, he still likes to be defiant, because he hates to "support" his son, obviously! : (
about an hour ago · Like
SOCIAL SECURITY ACT-TITLE IV-GRANTS TO STATES FOR AID AND SERVICES TO NEEDY
ReplyDeleteYep they even call people needy and the act is considered aid! hmmm they getting paid! and maybe they gotta wait for any money like they make us wait but they will get it and alot of it!! more than they giving out Im sure!
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/policy/titliv.htm
February 29, 2012
ReplyDeleteThirty-Seventh Judicial Circuit of Michigan
Friend of the Court Office
161 E. Michigan Avenue
Battle Creek, MI 49014
Re: Docket No. 2011-000762DM/Jennifer Abrams –vs- Robert B. Abrams
On January 31, 2012 I was present for the Show Cause Hearing regarding non-payment of Child Support against Robert B. Abrams. Also with me was my eldest son, Robert A. Abrams (16 years of age), and his personal counselor that he has been working with for more than 9 months. Robert requested on his own to be there on my behalf and as a direct material witness with proof of his father’s employment since 2007 with Airport Bus & Limo Service in Roseville, MI. He also asked on a personal level to be able to finally see for himself his father and be able to confront him in an environment that would force his father to hear and accept what his son needed to say to him.
Calhoun County since receiving this case in 2011 has treated this as a “new” case, it is not. It has been moved first from Macomb County where our divorce was granted to Roscommon County and now to Calhoun County, where my children and I currently reside. This was only one of many Show Cause Hearings of this kind that I have attended and this is the 4th time it has resulted in Robert’s incarceration for the same “crime”. He continues to be remiss in making any attempt at substantial employment and making any form of child support resulting in his arrearages of $40,352.68 since 2007.
This is a crime, and such resulting in his incarceration, along with that it also has victims; in this case it has three. The children in this case and me are all victims of Robert’s “crime”. Besides the lack of financial support there is also a clear case of neglect and abandonment on his part with his minor children. Thus leaving years of emotional hurt, anger, frustration and confusion that the children have endeared, it is for all those reasons I have had them in close weekly home-based therapy to help get them through this and hopefully be able to go on to lead a productive life, unlike that of their father. It was for that reason, rather any court official agrees with or supports the decision that my son needed to do this to finally be able to see that this is entirely his father’s decision to live this way and deal with the choices he has made. My son needed that “closure” and be able to confront his father as a victim should. That very day has made a world of difference. After many years of anger and false hope, my son has finally been able to handle and deal with his feelings and put the past behind. The very statement that my son made that morning after seeing and realizing all that has happened in not anyone else’s fault but his father’s made my decision to bring him one that I hope the court will consider in future cases to help other “victim’s” of these crimes. My son stated “I never want to end up like this or do this to anyone else”.
The courts need to acknowledge the above and realize that in many cases these children need to know the truth and be able to be heard. The handling of these types of cases need to be enforced more aggressively and along with incarceration, there also needs to be some type of counseling during the inmates time to help them realize the total ramifications of their “crimes” and who and how it is affecting. These crimes more often than not are costing the State as assistance on the victim’s end is needed due to their lack of support. There are emotional issues that they cause and should be handled as if it is child abuse.
I have started an online blog and petition that is moving and there are many out there and we have the right to be heard and that the handling of many of these cases need major improvements in this end of the justice system.
Thank you for your time in this matter.
Jennifer S. Abrams
Cc: Office of Judge Steven Miller, 37th Circuit Court
State of Michigan Department of Attorney General
Patrick J. O’Brien, State of Michigan Child Support Division Chief
Robert B. Abrams
The above letter is being sent to the courts and state officials along with a copy to my ex-husband in jail. Hopefully it get's someone's attention and acknowledgement.
ReplyDeleteStill working on moving this site and gaining more joiner's. But I need everyone's help. The letter's are out, and everyday I continue to email more to legislative and Supreme Judicial officials. Please continue to post in any social network the blog site and the change.org petition and ask that they take a minute to read and sign. It helps and let's more people out there know that they are not alone either and we are working to make noise and eventually a difference for the ones that count...our kids! Thanks again everyone for you help.
ReplyDeleteGood afternoon. I feel your pain! Perhaps we should all get together and picket the FOC for non-payment for innocent children and the real victims of the system! The system needs major rehaul. Perhaps the FOC only gets paid based on collection of monthly support they are able to get from the non-custodial parent. But if that was true there would be no arrearages if they wanted a nice check at the end of the week. How is this for interesting, I went to the FOC because the parent of our 3 children was not paying, so we went in front of a judge and she signed and sided with our children to make him pay current amount due, but by the time I got to the FOC the judges ruling was over turned and I was back at square one. Not the first time that happened nor the last! Have you ever heard of "Income Tax Intercept" and tried that route? I just learned about it by reading through the FOC website. How about a petition against the FOC for not helping certain children? Anything over $10,000 is a federal offense. Try the feds. It is very sad to think that dead beat parents care so little about their children that they do all they can to hide all assets and the FOC allows this to happen every minute of the day. I think they forget the children ultimately are their client and not the non-paying parent. The paying parent has become the bad guy and the kids are the victims! I had a girlfriend that had an ex that had to pay only $20/week/child and that did not even cover lunches, and he still took her to court saying he paid too much. And then he stopped paying all together as he cashed in her $10,000 from her 401K and a 1/3 of her pension when she retires. They were only married 8 years! Wow. Kids are graduated and gone, it has been years, and he still owes her money, but she still has to pay him at retirement. The bottom line is that the non-custodial parent broke a contract so why are there no repercussions and revisions for the committed responsible parents? Shame on the gov't for allowing this. We should ban together and picket and start a petition for change. Maybe put this over on FB and see how it spreads. Hope that since March things have been better for you, but given the track record and doing it for over 10 years the odds are against it. If you do start a petition be sure to post it on your blog as I will check back. Wish me luck my kids are going to need it.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a while since my last blog post. A lot has happened and it has been a rough year. The ONLY thing that Hasn't changed....the continued LACK of ENFORCEMENT. Yes the beginning of the year started out with my ex-husband sentenced and serving his 4th jail term since 2007 (or according to his FB post after his release, his "VACATION")! He was released in March and since that time has made only 2 rediculous "Attempts" (i.e. bare minimum to keep Show Cause Hearing Order's from being issued).
ReplyDeleteWhat's worse is the effect it continues to have on my children....the true "victims". In April my eldest, who has been suffering from severe depression for a long time and refused counseling or help, reached out one last time to his "dad" by texting him one Saturday morning that he had enough and was going to end his life...8 minutes later he was taken out of the garage by police, where he was attempting to hang himself while I was at work. I'm thankful his younger brother was quick to call 911 and that the response was immediate. And the text that was sent? Wasn't answered or even acknowledged at all UNTIL 2 days later in sleep deprived and SEVERE ANGER on my part, I posted a VERY public and well deserved nasty post on the "Dad's" (loosely used term as he has done nothing in the last 8 years to even deserve that title) Facebook page from his son's mobile FB app, the very same son that at that time was in a Psychiatric facility and finally getting the help his so needed. The end result was a very scary situation ended up forcing the help and needed counseling my son had to finally accept to heal and move on. He wrote a very touching and to the point letter to his "Dad" while in there and it was basically the last communication he has had. He finally got to express that he is tired of the constant disappointment from false or broken promises, out right lies and BS excuses for not being there or not even living up to his obligations, and for not even caring to BE A DAD in anyway. To bad his "dad" still didn't get the message after all that.
It is October now and still can not get any "enforcement". Last "Attempt" was on July 18, and as of today is still over $43,000 in arrearages. I have taken suggestions seriously and created a Facebook page. I hope that everyone will at least visit, friend the page, or even just "like". We need to get our voices back out there and push for changes in the system....I would love to see Social Media as part of proof (lets face it, pretty easy when most dead-beats confess like my ex their employment, joke about how they "screw" the ex and essentially the "system"), and other information that is pertinent to the FOC case. Also, tighter enforcement actions (90 days of not payment is ridiculous before anyone in the FOC system will even look into possible Show Cause)...it is a COURT ORDER, and should be given NO more then 40 (give only a 10 day "grace" period). Automatic license suspension, this can be done by linking FOC to DMV records, after all they are ALL a Michigan government ran agencies. Tougher and more linked FEDERAL tracking of non-custodial parents. This not just a Michigan problem, and may dead-beats flee to other states and there are no repercussions.
PLEASE, go to the Facebook page and join, post, share, and like...we need to keep fighting in order to be taken seriously and get changes not only for our cases, but the many more the happen every year. Thanks for hanging in there!
https://www.facebook.com/MiFriendOfTheCourtChangeNeeded?ref=tn_tnmnhttps://www.facebook.com/MiFriendOfTheCourtChangeNeeded?ref=tn_tnmn
Sorry but still learning all this online stuff...Trying to link a Facebook page...Please visit and share. Thanks to all and as always, good luck to you and your family!
ReplyDeleteTonight I got to see my youngest son evolve into a young man. He attended his 1st Homecoming dance, and his 1st official "date". This week leading up to this big day was both exciting and bittersweet. 1st came the panic and to figure out "how" I was going to afford this (he is 14, so this is something I had to give to him). Well, I let a few things go and will figure it out later. Then came the moment in the Penney's store when I didn't know what to do (I don't know how to shop for mens clothes) and he made the comment in the dressing room when it came to the tie, "how do I do this...I don't have anyone to show me how", that cut deep. It was embarressing to have to go out and just find the 1st male employee and explain that he doesn't have anyone to show him what to do...I was thankful for that man to help that day. And then came tonight, I seen him nervous to get to the date, opening doors, pulling out chairs, and trying to be a gentleman. Yes I was proud, cause I know he got something from me, but sad that he wished he had a father to talk to, but doesn't. Now after all this, that anger comes back...and I hate the fact that not only am I suffering financially, but WORSE, is the suffering my boys go through not having a "father". He needs to be punished...not just another "vacation" as he jokes on FB after each release...but truly punished. His real CRIME is TOTAL abandonment!
ReplyDeleteI, as I have stated before, have read the Judgement/Order as it was written...I am not a "legally educated" person, but not stupid either. But it is SIGNED BY A JUDGE (JUDGE STEVEN MILLER, AS LAST ORDERED). Therefore in the eyes of the Law, it is a LEGAL binding order to UPHELD by the courts and and states the following: $639.59 per month (that's 30 days on the legal calender) shall be paid (can be paid in weekly, bi-weekly or monthly increments), as long as the OBLIGATION is meet within that 30 days. It is further broken down as to monthly due child support and arrearages (which, at over $43,000, arrearages less then 1/2 of his monthly OBLIGATION is arrearages), leaving less the $350.00 a month to help raise two teen boys...JOKE! That doesn't even cover 1/2 food cost!!!! BUT...and this is my point....NOW WHERE IN THAT LEGAL DOCUMENT DOES IT SAY..."COME CLOSE TO THAT MONTHLY AMOUNT", "MAKE AN ATTEMPT, OR WHAT YOU SEE/AND OR ENFORCEMENT OFFICER IS ACCEPTABLE OF PAYMENT", WAIT THE 90 DAYS AS THE LAW CAN'T DO ANYTHING TILL THEN, TO MAKE BARE MINIMUM PAYMENT". IT STATES AND I AM VERY CLEAR ON THIS...."YOU WILL BE IN CONTEMPT OF COURT IF YOU DO NOT MEET THIS OBLIGATION IN FULL". So why is it not upheld at all in any way??? Any other non-educated person not fully understanding of this??? Please let me know!
ReplyDeleteLike · · Share
The law enforcement division is to blame here!Michigan is one of the worst!The FOC workers get payed a lot more than they are worth as they are nothing but a joke!!Twenty years ago if you fell five hundred dollars behind they put you in jail,today they do nothing but collect their checks while setting on their fat asses eating at a doughnut shop!They get over payed for doing nothing about collecting the money owed by deadbeat parents!! The laws not only need to be changed but they need to be enforced,these lazy FOC workers should only receive a check if the children they are suppose to be getting money for receive their money!The enforcement here is the root of the problem.State and Federal law makers should only be payed if they are doing a service for the people paying them.They are not doing that,so fire the worthless assholes unless they are earning their pay check.If they got payed on commission their fat asses would starve to death!!If the people paying them don't do their jobs they get replaced!That is what needs to happen here,not only change the Laws change the worthless people getting payed for doing nothing!!Start with the people in Washington and work right through F.O.C. and the police departments as well!!This is not a joke any more,the children are the ones being neglected not so much by the parent's as the entity's responsible to enforce the laws being neglected....
ReplyDeleteThank you for your opinion on this site...please help and advertise this site to your friends...need to keep this moving, and voices be heard.
ReplyDeleteI agree totally with you, the employees of FOC are not doing their jobs, I have sat in the FOC office and quoted from the FOC Handbook, what they SHOULD be doing, and was ordered out of the court house for this...and this has helped lead to my ex being a complete deadbeat. It's been 7 years I have been fighting this fight, and every year he gets worse and farther behind. He is currently over $43,000.00 behind and payments are few and far between, and ENFORCEMENT gets even less. I get no answers or help from the court system, and the "proof" they tell you they need...they won't even look at or listen too.
My case was just referred for a felony warrant with the attorney general. It has taken almost 14 years for this to take place and i lost all faith in the system years ago. Why even have a foc? Why put laws into place that are intentionally not followed or enforced? I once got emotional with my enforcement officer and demanded she do her job, she replied by laughing at me "well we didnt pick the father honey you did". I told her she was absolutely right! But my children should not have to suffer, so just do your fucking job and they wont! Isnt it amazing how their whole job description is to provide a service but when you want them to do their job, they act like your bothering them and asking for handouts! The FOC has been to me exactly what my kids father has been to them: WORTHLESS! A JOKE! UNWORTHY OF TIME AND EFFORT! NEGLECTFUL AND UNCARING! THEY ARE CO-SIGNERS FOR THE DEAD BEAT PARENTS! Sorry getting worked up. Getting upset isnt even worth it anymore!
ReplyDeleteOh and btw, this Terrance Poop guy is obviously a bitter asshole. His wife probably divorced him for a nicer gentleman who is now enjoying his family. This is leaving him with nothing better to do than to blog about stuff he knows nothing about! He must be paying his child support though or he wouldnt be so negative about it! Should have treated his wife better. His grass must not be looking to green either!
ReplyDeleteChange is needed but in the other way. You custodial parents treat children like property. I'm in the situation and it's wrong, completely wrong.
ReplyDelete1) If you have sole custody then be proud and take care of the responsibility you pushed to have. What good does it do to imprison the other parent? The child will only resent you for it.
2) The custodial parent profits in ways the non-custodial parent cannot.
a) Tax credit
b) More family time
c) Greater social services
d) If receiving support it's tax free income.
3) The only reason FOC goes after non-custodial parents is the bill falls on tax payers when they miss manage or fall behind. The custodial parent will not earn more because its easier to get a free check. While the non-custodial parent will not earn more because it means paying more support & taxes. Now you have two dead beats essentially.
Stop using child support as an income. If you win a house in a settlement does the losing party have to pay the taxes for 18 years? No, it's your victory enjoy it. If you cannot handle the taxes give them to the other parent.
There are a lot of us Custodial Parents that DO NOT receive welfare, we DO NOT get as much time with our kids as you claim because we are single with bills and therefore find that one job is not enough. Yes we fought to those custodial rights and most likely where awarded them because the other parent is exactly what they prove to be, a loser. The non-custodial parent was involved in creating the child, like it or not, and is responsible to support that child. The law is obligated to uphold that, you don't follow the law, you choose not to work and support the children you where willing to create, then you deserve the punishment for that. Plain and simple. The children end up as mine have to see that their mother worked her ass off to support them, care for them, make up for the short coming's of what we now refer to as the "donor", and have no regards for the parent that so obviously didn't not care to support them, financially, emotionally or physically.
ReplyDeleteJen, you are out of line. A parent that does not win custodial rights is not a loser. In my case, the mother never told me about my child until the prosecutor notified me. At which time I re-united with the mother to take care of her and move both into my home. She plotted with her sister; stole my mail, conceived another with me and took them to another county. She then hid behind an attorney while I was unemployed and unable to get assistance. I sent several letters but the attorney refused to let me see my children unless I signed a document acknowledging the mother as the primary care-giver. I had no chance of gaining custodial rights. I payed over 2.5k a month for several years while I could but eventually lost my job, house and hope while she bought a house with my support money. Eventually she lost that as well when I could no longer afford a place to live. Now my children have no house of their own. Meanwhile, my support is increased as she claims to need $$$ to pay her relatives daycare services when I'm at home an available. She receives assistance because she refuses work a real job. She chooses to work at a cushy job making less than 16k a year, working less than 30hrs a week. I made over 120k a year but no longer. My children are spoiled rotten because she spent the money on trivial gifts to buy their love rather than provide a stable home. Why, because I refused to marry her?
DeleteWill I work? Of course when employment is available in this treacherous job market. Will my children ever have a house of their own again? Probably never. She is responsible for them now. When she fails I will be ready to overcome my obsticales and resume my dreams for them. Until then they are in limbo. She'll never do more than the minimum for them. She'll continue to use them to get at me.
I see my children every visitation with the help of compassionate Chaplin. Infuriated, she manipulates them to make up lies; from claims of employment to domesitic violence to drug abuse. She plays on my anger over the situation but I'm helpless to protect my chidren. Just recently, 3 months ago, I foiled a plot to label me as a child sex abuser. She told my daughter to grind on my leg in front of my son so she could file a CPS report. Fortuantely the Chaplin is also a social worker and advised me to take action when I corrected my daughters behavior. In a panic she accused her nephews. The mother covered her tracks and I was denied emergency custody.
You don't know the other side. I read your messages. Your tone is of vengence and greed. There's no compassion for the children who deserve two happy and loving parents. No amount of money can come close the relationship between a parent and a child.
One more thing Jen. Do you really think jail/prison is a threat vs slavery at the hands of someone who would use a child? You are mistaken. I will take that sentence and come out with a law degree to fight the system. My morals run way deeper than that. I cannot speak for your ex.
DeleteMaybe you should stop blaming others for your financial failures. You wanted sole custody. You reap the benefits of being the sole caregiver. Get out and do better. Stop pointing the finger. Accept your responsibly.
DeleteRemember this Jen.... You gave your son's father every reason not to be a dad. And when your son needs him the most he will be unable to help him. Unable to teach him the things that only a man can teach (patience, discipline, tolerance, etc). Don't be surprised when your son grows into an angry adult. His mother is vengeful and his father is unable to be who he wants to be. But I'm sure you'll blame him for that too.
DeleteYou are no one to judge anything. I do better, I don't rely on the system, I raise my children to know that they have to work hard and better themselves. Unlike my ex-husband who the minute the divorce was final stopped a very lucrative business we built, dropped every thing to work under the table and be able to report no income or even attempt to obligate himself to any court orders. He also decided that he no longer needed to have anything more to do with his boys. They only got A letter once in a while from one of his jail sentences full of empty promises that he never kept or an occassional phone text telling them he was too busy for them. That hurt my children. I spent many years working hard to get them therapy and helping to to become the men they are. Bitter, yes I am, this man did this to all of us out of greed and is now spending more then a year in jail this time for it, where he belongs. I was able to fight hard and the Attorney General took over this last time, he is now in a whole new arena and the courts now know I will fight till this is over and he has fulfilled his obligations set forth by the law. I do not use my kids, I would have loved a weekend break or help with a coat or two...I would have loved not to have two kids throughout the years wonder what they did to make their dad hate them? I would have loved to been able to attend school or outside activities instead of having to work because I couldn't afford to take the time off. I would have loved to give birthday's or Christmas's like their friends got, instead of explaining I didn't have enough after food, shelter and whatever they needed came out of my check. But they didn't go without being able to be part of band, sports, computer robotics teams, things that made them productive and a part of something...I worked extra to give that to them. Instead, in between jail terms (his "vacation" according to the donors facebook), he got to enjoy vacations as he wanted, new hobbies and such, all while not having any responsibilities. Yes I'm bitter and will continue to fight...I see way to many non-custodial parents in the courts that are obviously just LOSERS.
ReplyDeleteWow you're a self-centered sociopath. You use the man's son to jail him and expect him to want to see him? Why on earth would he want to see someone that betrayed him? You caused that. You should feel ashamed. Eventually your son will grow up and realize what you've done to him.
DeleteHe does not hate his children. But you have no place to tell him when and where to be a parent. That's his decision. Fathers are more than financial providers. As far as all your "love to's"... you put an end to any relationship he'll have with them until they are adults and free of you.
You sound like a control freak. All you want to do is dictate what he should and shouldn't do as a father. I don't blame the guy for wanting to go on vacation at every moment he gets. You're clearly obsessed with making him do what you want. So in the end was it worth it?
If the guy dropped dead right after you gave birth would you still blame him for your misfortune?
Good luck with your crusade. You're only hurting your child.
You're the kind of mother that would call the cops on your own son so you can take credit for the bust.
DeleteTrust me, the courts will love you for that too. You keep their payrolls filled at your family's expense.
Poor boy...raised by a woman with no sense of family.
Wait, So you say your not on public assistance. Your son is 16 years old and no health problems.
DeleteBasically you're pushing the courts to jail his father because he owes you money. Oh boy wouldn't the credit card companies love to do that too.
BTW Why are you not in jail since you are in financial debt? Oh ya, because there isn't a law on the books for that....yet.
You have no clue to the hypocrisy you perpetuate.
Great post , Change is needed the Michigan FOC system , very popular due to the comments are witter , thanks michiganfamilyattorneys.com
ReplyDeleteMichigan Custody
That Burger guy, obvious a loser that is in the system. Don't care. My ex is in jail and will have spent over a year in county for his non-payment of Child Support 2nd Offense Felony...and it was because of my pushing and constant attention. I will help anyone in this situation to do the same. No lawyer need to bleed you dry. It is a crime and we need to dray serious attention to it. My children are fine and have no need for the loser in jail, and know that they will not become a 2nd generation of offenders.
ReplyDeletenow this is not realandyou justi holding me hostage for your wickedaction and you you knwo it
ReplyDeleteelmer troupe
like stroupe of the most high child support acdept i put him up toit becase itsme and your refust to reconi me becuset if youdo the fried of court closedontd all over theworuld
so youareillagel and goodm=bye
why is the wayne couryt and oakland sherriff in the kidnaping buiesnessis thata rule form the amason todo this if so i have not seenand if so where they at they wont exit when im finish if you kidnapp mydaughter
ReplyDeleteso tell me where pipernicole simmons at an why did this countyet innap her and what do i do about in todya besid contact the france auuthority so they can contact the fbi direct tocontact me to moureenof mcihgain
Ms. Abrams,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I have read your story the truth is I don't know it and in reality there are always two sides to everything.
I found your blog by Googleing Monroe County FOC. My experience is much different than yours.
My ex-wife and I divorced after twelve years of marriage and three children. During all but seven months of our marriage she did not work and stayed with our children. During our marriage I worked full time and had part time jobs. During one occasion I actually held two full time jobs for ten months. We had agreed that we would be "adults" during the divorce and even wrote our own divorce agreement. Of course I would learn later that this was a grave mistake because what I signed was "changed" to include changes in visitation, taxes and possessions. Of course, bringing that to the courts attention was . . . . worthless as they told me my signature was on it so, get over it.
I agreed to pay for 50% of all medical, gave her alimony for 18 months and agreed to nearly 48% of my income as child support.
In Oct 2012 when I became unemployed my ex-wife received not only 1/2 of my unemployment but I continued to pay for medical bills sent to me for our youngest although he receives SSI because of his disability.
During the first three and a half years of our divorce (btw, I was asked for a divorce on Christmas Day 2009), I had my kids in my home every weekend and would drive into Monroe every other Wed to take them to dinner. I did not claim any of the children on my taxes in 11 or 12 (I did in 2010 because my ex had not worked and I actually gave her half of that tax return. Actually she did not begin working until April 2011 although we were divorced in 2009).
I have been in a committed relationship and we have two young children ('11 and '13). The children from my first marriage are in our home three weekends a month and on extended periods during holidays.
I have tried to be a reasonable as possible but find that as a father I get treated as a second class citizen by FOC. It took me two court hearings to have the children that live with me considered in my CS order and viola . . yes, my tax refund was taken to pay off a CS debt. But - and here is the thing - no actual debt existed as we had never been involved with FOC until after I lost my job in 2012. I had always paid her directly out of my check (direct deposit). She then filed with FOC and because they took several months to set a hearing they refused to acknowledged the monies I had directly paid her.
So this year my tax refund was taken and on 8 April I had a hearing with the FOC where they let me know that, "oops, yep" they now agree that I had paid her in the past and that "yep" I now have a credit. Guess what though, that does not mean anyone (either my ex or FOC) will give me the money back all it means is I have a "credit" on what I owe.
Here is where it is interesting; I began working about a week before the hearing and yep - sure my kids know. Amazingly, somehow the day before the hearing with the referee someone at FOC filed an order with my new employer that notified them I have a debt of 726.00 and that they must take up to 50% of my income and send it to the FOC to pay my ongoing CS and the arrearages. Problem . . . yep, there are no arrearages and guess what else . . . my part time job has now - in a very "weird way" taken me off the schedule but for one day this week and one next week! Do I think this is related . . no idea but it sure is odd, ya know.
sorry for your story, I run secondclasscitizen.org and redonkulas.com I am trying to educate the men out there that the system is a rigged game. I have been called bitter, stupid, attacked by women , white nights, and feminists for simply speaking the truth. you are caught in a classic dead beat dad deliema. my vids are you youtube under redonkulas.com there are now over 115 of them
DeleteContinued comment from Will on 14 April 2014 at 4:23pm (initial comment limited by space):
ReplyDeleteSo where I am today is simple; 50% of the wages from my new part time job will be taken and although my case manager tells me that this will be corrected once the referees order is official that I will not get those funds back rather they will be added to any credit I may have. Further, this confiscation will continue for at least 21 days as my ex has that long to appeal after the judges decision. Begs the question; how am I suppose to afford driving to get them for visit and how is it that I should feed them.
I don't want to sound like I am complaining because I have terrific kids but the reality is that there are always two sides and while you represent one side there are many men that are trying to do the right thing but are getting crushed.
Food for thought; I agreed to a divorce but now . . . I never hear from my kids by telephone, text or email when they are not here even when it is "scheduled". My ex sent our oldest to a private school from Aug - Dec of last year, against my desires, and then ended up taking him out because it was not working. He has not attended school since that time and she is "home schooling" him, something the court says is fine even if I disagree. Our middle child is not biologically mine as my ex had an affair and yes, I agreed to stay with her and tried to work through our marriage. We agreed that we would tell the child together but . . viola . . . she told the child last year without my knowledge and even showed her photos of her "bio dad" as he is called. Yeah, I was happy about that, right. Now . . my ex has told me that in June she is getting married and moving our children to someplace around Holland (MI). I will fight it in court but am being told by an AAL that once I go before Judge Arnold that I will lose. In July of last year my ex took the kids out of state and refused to tell me when, where or how long they would be gone as she informed me, "it's none of your business". Guess what . . . my FOC "case manager" told me after the fact that sure she should not have done that but as the kids were now back there was nothing that could be done, nice. (Consider, when I took my oldest to Chicago for six days in 2012 I not only gave her the hotel information but had him call his mother every single day). I rarely hear about doctors appointments, dentist appointments, school functions or anything else. IOW, my relationship with my children is completely changed and there exist nothing that I can do (yes, I email or write everyday on their facebook page but . . . boy . . . is that all I am suppose to do as a Dad. . . ).
Continued Comment by Will from 14 April 2014 at 4:26 pm (part three of three)
ReplyDeleteAnyhow . . . perspective. There are two sides to every story and while you feel FOC has not been supportive to you and you have that right, I feel that FOC has been punitive towards me. Consider, for me this is not just about the money (although it would be nice to have some of it so that I could at least take the kids to McDonalds, skating, a movie, the Zoo or elsewhere) it is about how dealing with them has made me feel. I am treated as a second class citizen and somehow I am not living up to my responsibilities. Really. My children are in my home, I talk to them, play with them and am concerned about them but . . . . I am made to feel this way and now my employer thinks I am a dead beat (let's be fair, I would think that too if a court filing told me someone was behind on CS, right.)
Anyway . . . I hope that things improve for you and wish you the best. Please don't think that every man is trying to avoid being a father - most of us are not. Please don't think that FOC is doing there job by just collecting cash from the Dad, they are not as it shows zero consideration for the children in my home and actually begs the question; how am I suppose to survive with only 50% (BTW, you know that under Michigan Law it can go to 60% if the payee does not have another family to support) of my income.
Enjoy. If you want to know more about me or want to find out if I am trying to feed you a line of BS, check me out at:
http://wishiwasntasingledad.blogspot.com/
My ex has been on child support since 2011. With visitations on the weekends at his house, at first. Then he did some crazy things and I went to FOC and told them about it, he has been on supervised (by me) visitations, which he doesn't even show up to. He also doesn't pay his child support for years at a time, which he is working during that time, just getting jobs that pay under the table. He is a drug addict. He knows how to play the system. He now has 2 child support cases in seperated counties. The other parent is on foodstamps/cash assistance, whatever she can get she applies for, a real welfare abuser. So I check the child support every now and then, and I find out that there was a payment made less than a month ago to the other case, but I never got anything.... I haven't gotten anything in months. And before that over a year. Child support enforcement in Michigan is a JOKE. They don't actually do anything to enforce it. Aslo, whenever my ex has a court date, it keeps getting adjourned to the next month, when I'm pretty damn sure he isn't showing up, so technically that's contempt of court and they do nothing! He owes over $5,000 in past due support.... this is ridiculous!!!
ReplyDeletechange is needed for michigan FOC system to make it FAIR TO ALL PARTIES!! Its about the child, not you screwing the dad over of his chance to be in childs life/ making money from him, when you have sole custody.
ReplyDeleteThere are too many butthurt selfish greedy mothers that instead of working out a set payment plan with the father, they wont allow the father to see the child at all until the father files a $60 motion for parenting time. Then the court will order no visitation/access or supervised visitation...which is more money out of the fathers pocket after he already pays 50% of his earnings to child support. Do the right thing, talk to the father, come up with a legitament payment plan for half the cost of living for the child - you dont need to take 50% of his pay and you can give him EQUAL PARENTING TIME, you greedy bitches. Keeping a father away from his child is a terrible thing to do for everyone involved, your children will hate you for it one day and making him pay more than you need and he can afford in child support resulting in him going to jail is a terrible thing to do as well..also very stupid thing to want happen/have happen because then hes in JAIL and cant pay you ANY money.
This is coming from a female FYI, not a "deadbeat dad". Fathers have rights too, keep that in mind as well as that its THEIR child too.
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DeletePut yourself in their shoes. Michigan court system is always in your favor, not the fathers.
ReplyDeleteCynthia, I'm guessing you must be dating a deadbeat dad?
DeleteWow Jennifer! I am astounded that your local court doesn't enforce the orders that it put on your ex-partner. What's the point in having these laws if no-one has to obide by them?! I definitely agree with you that the real victim here is the children. In my role as a Child Support Lawyers Sydney I've rarely come across something like this...did you speak to a legal professional about this?
ReplyDeleteI know this was a couple of years ago, how did it turn out?
I think it is important to note that Freind of the court particularly in Macomb is generally biased against men.
ReplyDeleteMy ex wife did not support our kids interest in sports and extra curricular activities. My kids are wrestlers and tournaments happen on weekends. She gets the children every weekend. She went to a couple tournaments with them and decided she didn't like sitting there for their tournaments and would no longer take them. The kids work very hard to be good at this sport. My daughter is a state and national champion. My son is a state finalist. I went to Freind of the Court and asked them to enforce section "H" of the parenting time guidelines that state that she should take the children to all extra curricular activities on her parenting time. The parenting time agent for friend of the court refused to do so, and suggested I file a motion. I did so and it took a lot of effort to convince the magistrate that she should take action. She finally said that their mother had to allow them to participate in at least one sport. And that we would commit the tournament schedule to writing and file it with the courts. We went through all of this and before long she was refusing to take them to tournaments. I offered to take them myself and bring them back to their mother and she refused. When I went back to Freind of the court again, the parenting time officer simply said she was not going to enforce the wrestling schedule. And that she "chose to interpret it" to mean that my ex wife could take them to whatever she wanted on her parenting time. When you file grievances about Friend of the court they police themselves so it goes nowhere. Almost all of the agents are women and it is very clear which side they are on.